E-mail on Electronic Mentoring

Electronic mentors received e-mail from Gail Morse, Durant Road Middle Curriculum Integration coordinator, Teacher Nancy Armstrong explaining the project, and finally from the students. Here are excerpts from those e-mails including an essay from student Durant 31.

Memo from Gail Morse

Thank you for agreeing to be a mentor. You will be working with a delightful group of sixth grade students. The unit is clarification writing.

Here are the details:

1. Class composition - there are 30 wonderful students in the class.

2. Students - you will mentor 2 or 3 students.

3. Technology access - Durant is NOT technology rich. The school does not have an instructional lab for curriculum teachers to use with their students. The students will be using the keyboarding classroom during the keyboarding teacher's planning period. This will allow each student to sit at a computer. We are also teaching students how to save on a disk, access e-mail, and use word processing software for this project.

4. Teacher - Mrs. Armstrong - She will be contacting you by Aug. 21 regarding the writing curriculum curriculum. You will not be correcting spelling, etc. You will be reading the student's writing and e-mailing students your reactions to their compositions. This is an EXCITING unit! You will have FUN!

Memo from Nancy Armstrong

Dear Mentors,

Thank you for your willingness to be role models for my 6th grade language arts class. This is a group of very energetic and enthusiastic boys and girls who love to share information.

Their writing is average to above average ability level for the 6th grade. My expectations for them with this writing assignment are: the use of proper format for a clarification paper and the use of elaboration to support the main idea.

I will give you a general overview of the writing foundations and then specific areas for you to check and make suggestions for improvement on their papers.

Writing - essential elements

1. Each essay should be focused on the prompt (topic) consistently throughout the paper.

2. The student needs to provide specific, relevant, information that supports the prompt.

3. The essay should be organized in a clear logical progression that follows a controlled plan.

4. The essay should have an overall "feeling" of completeness.

Characteristics of Clarification Essays - to explain "why" with at least three, well-elaborated reasons.

Introduction

1. The student identifies the topic and expresses an opinion in the topic sentence.

2. The student identifies the 3 reasons to be used to support the choice or opinion.

Body

1. Each reason is then written into a separate paragraph.

2. Two supporting details are used for each reason.

3. The best or strongest reason is given at the end.

4. Transition words are used to start each new paragraph.

5. The student needs to use a variety of sentence types.

Conclusion

1. The conclusion mimics the introductory paragraph. It should be restated using different words. Use a clincher or closing sentence at the end.

Suggested Editing Tips - Format

1. Essays should be 5 paragraphs long.

2. Restate your introductory paragraph as a conclusion. Use a clincher sentence.

3. Each body paragraph should have two different types of elaboration.

4. Your strongest reasons should be at the end.

Suggested Editing tips - Elaboration

1. Try to extend your idea into another situation or include another group.

2. Use a personal example.

3. Try to compare your idea to something similar or different.

4. Use your idea in an imaginary situation.

There are a few suggestions that you may reword to your students during this writing assignment. Please feel free to e-mail me with any specific concerns you may have regarding a suggestion you have for a paper.

Essay "My Favorite Grade" by Durant 31

FIRST DRAFT
Do you remember first grade? Well I do, and I think it was the greatest year ever. There was time to talk and play. I had the best of friends, and my teacher was the greatest. I have many memories about that wonderful year, and I like to remember them and cherish them.

First and foremost, there was lots of time to talk to friends and little work. In first grade, there were many new things to touch, smell, see and experience. But still there was much talking and playing. There was almost n work excerpt for a few papers throughout the year and the end of grade test. There may have been work some days, but compared to even second grade it was nothing, and first grade was just a game to laugh through. My class was especially cool since we were always doing something new and exciting each day and learning something new. And there is my first reasons.

Secondly there were the best friends in the whole world of a first grader. I had the most wonderful friends that were always there for me. So that if someone was teasing me they would stick up for me. Like the time I slipped and fell in the mud some people laughed by my friends helped me back up on my feet. We were a tight group connected like a peace of string and unbroken like a straight long road. I'm still in school with most of my first grade class and they are still my friends after all these years.

Third and most, my teacher Ms. Johnson was the coolest ever. Ms. Johnson loved to act and sing, and was very popular among the kids as well as the parents. The other classes seemed dull and boring compared to my class whit all our fun and games. For example while we were up on stage performing for the school, everyone else was on the floor watching in awe. My teacher also loved hands on activities and often had them. So there are my reasons for choosing first grade as my favorite.

So finally, first grade was my favorite because there was lots of time to talk and play. Also I had the greatest friends and the greatest teacher. So always cherish your memories and remember the best ones forever.

FINAL DRAFT
Do you remember first grade? Well I do, and I think it was the greatest year ever. There was time to talk and play, I had the best of friends, and my teacher was the greatest. I have many memories about that wonderful year, and I like to remember them and cherish them.

First and foremost, there was lots of time to talk to friends and little work. In first grade there were many new things to touch, smell, see, and experience. But still there was much talking and playing. Sometimes we would have spelling bees and sometimes we would go outside and do some project that had to do with what we had been talking about or were about to talk about. There was almost no work except for a few papers throughout the year and the end of grade test. There may have been work some days, but compared to even second grade it was nothing, and first grade was just a game to laugh through. My class was especially cool since we were always doing something new and exciting each day and learning something new. And there is my first reason.

Secondly there were the best friends in the whole world of a first grader. I had the most wonderful friends that were always there for me. So that if someone was teasing me they would stick up for me. Like the time I slipped and fell in the mud some people laughed but my friends helped me back up on my feet. I was totally covered in mud and very upset but my friends calmed me down and I got some clean clothes and felt a lot better. We were a tight group connected like a peace of string and unbroken like a straight long road. I'm still in school with most of my first grade class and they are still my friends after all these years.

Third and mostly, my teacher Ms. Johnson was the coolest ever. Ms. Johnson loved to act and sing, and was very popular among the kids as well as the parents. She was kind of short and was dark colored but that doesn't matter at all. Mrs. Johnson knew some professional singers and dancers and had one come over one day. We performed a play by Mrs. Johnson's friend called the feelings play in which we acted out as different characters. The other classes seemed dull and boring compared to my class with all our fun and games. For example while we were up on stage performing for the school, everyone else was on the floor watching in awe. My teacher also loved hands on activities and often had them. So there are my reasons for choosing first grade as my favorite. So finally, first grade was my favorite because there was lots of time to talk and play. Also I had the greatest friends and the greatest teacher. So always cherish your memories and remember the best ones forever.