A Teacher's Journal: A Time for Listening

As of Friday afternoon, 50 different readers had left comments. To give you some perspective, 50 comments on a single entry in the blog world is nothing short of unbelievable. Typically, columns---regardless of the forum---average between 5 and 15 comments per entry.

With the response that I got, you'd've thought I was writing about redistricting!

What's even more amazing is that every single comment was from a parent or a teacher who firmly believed that our classrooms are failing our boys. Their passionate words were a wake-up call for me, serving as a reminder that my instruction has to be tailored to the unique needs of every learner----and that traditional classrooms can be punishing places for our boys.

Many parents spoke of the higher levels of activity that they see in their sons....and the negative reaction this activity draws in schools. Consider these examples:

I found this article very interesting. Everything you said I've hear about my son. Every teacher he's had says the same thing, "He a very smart boy but he easliy gets off task." I know---I'm his mother---but I know he is very smart and just needs an active learning environment.

Over the years, our son has definitely felt that some of his teachers have favored the girls in the class. As a boy he has been reprimanded for asking too many questions, moving too much, or making too much noise. I don't know if single gender classrooms are the answer, but I do have appreciation for a teacher who can understand the temperament of a boy, and overlook the little stuff in favor of a more boy-friendly learning environment.

Others recognized the very real impact that standardized testing has had on teaching and learning in our schools---and suggested that boys suffered from these changes more than girls:

We are so worried about teaching "how to take a test" we lose sight of building the love of learning with these children...If some of the teachers could put a little ingenuity back into their teaching, while following the curriculum put in place by Wake County schools, children would be ready to go to school every morning because they will be AFRAID they will miss something!

I believe there are some fundamentals that are no longer in the school day that greatly contribute to the "hyperactivity" and other so called "behavioral" issues that you and your peers face every day. Look, I'm an expert on this ADHD stuff, spoken to many premier thought leaders in this area in the medical community about one of my own children, and I can tell you that one of the main things that is missing in school is rigorous exercise. Yes, that's right. That is the best thing "on the market" for hyperactivity, and we've squeezed it out of the school day, even at the elementary school age level (I have one of them too).

Several comments came from teachers---sharing the successes and struggles of trying to reach boys in the classroom:

I am a band director in Miami-Dade County, Florida. The majority of my students are male. I spend time after school each day for enrichment tutoring, teaching them how to advance on their instruments, play the drum set, etc. The more hyperactive ones are also the most talented. The more I give to them instructionally, the better my results.

You really have adminstration that walks into your class to observe who won't mark you down for students blurting out in class? I think that is a wonderful thing. In all fairness, we are told as teachers if our students aren't sitting in nice little rows raising their hands that we don't have control of our classroom and no learning can be taking place.

I teach preschool, so I can tell you all about wiggling. I have the opportunity to get my kids moving, trying crazy things, and am slowly having them sit for longer periods. Working with older kids, there is not a lot of time in the schedule for fooling around. Teachers need to be taught in methods training to accommodate different styles of learning. Teaching kids to love learning is as valuable as the curriculum.

Tons of readers tackled my central question: Should we consider single gender classrooms for our kids:

My son is "one of those boys" who can't sit still, talks a lot, and taps with things to stay focused. Yet, give him something to do physically or with his hands, and he masters concepts very quickly. I'm not sure that gender -separating is the answer. We all have to learn how to work with all kinds of people. I think reinforcing ideas through different learning styles might be more appropriate.

I am not sure if single gender classrooms are the cure. Instead, a well balanced effort by teachers can entice both boys and girls to perform at similar levels. When boys aren't allowed to be boys----check, when children are not allowed to act like children----they miss the long road of growing up. Medication, drop-out rates and discipline issues rise, leading to adults that cannot act like adults.

I absolutely agree that boys and girls have very different thresholds for sitting still and not making noises. My son, and the sons of many friends, have all had problems in school because they couldn't "behave." It's just the boy level of activity. Girls sit and write FOR FUN! Most boys, mine included, would rather take a stick in the eye. If having single gender classrooms will allow boys to be themselves AND enjoy being in school, I'm all for it. Unfortunately, my son will hopefully have survived high school before this happens.

And some wondered whether race played an important role in this conversation:

Yes, I do think the school system is toxic to boys---especially Black boys. These boys are stereotyped if they don't look or act a certain way. Teachers have no tolerance for hyperactive or mischievous boys. They are easily labeled as disruptive and perceived as not wanting to learn.

Some male teachers dislike certain boys that are independent, silent and strong willed. They know that those boys have formed a negative opinion of them and do not want to become a part of their society. This is not racial, this is how they express their maleness. We as a society do not know these boys at all.

The comments that tugged at my heart-strings the most were from parents sharing personal struggles to see their sons succeed:

Our boys are trounced on, put out, overlooked, disrespected and tolerated. These are some of the most creative, loving, kind-hearted, funny, caring and understanding people we know and we don't want to take the time to realize that! How unfortunate for the rest of us!

I have 3 boys and early on I observed that they learned by moving and were often tapping a pencil or drumming their fingers or jiggling a leg when having to "sit still and listen". My middle son was written up last year for being "disrespectful and tapping his pencil while his science teacher was presenting a lesson"; my very sad kid came home and told me that he wasn't even aware of doing that at that time!

I serendipitously found this article right after attending my 1st grader's IEP meeting for behavior and social problems. I am lucky he too has an understanding teacher, but she is very limited and I worry about future classrooms. I feel forced to "label" my child as disabled just so he can act normally! I suppose his disability is "inability to suppress natural gender behaviors." How were boys treated in the classroom before all these issues arose? What constituted disruptive behavior then and how did boys get the appropriate outlets?

I think the comment that left me wondering the most, however, was the last one left. Listen to the pain in these words:

As the mother of an almost 19 year old sophomore drop-out, I would agree totally with this article. I felt like I was treading water in an ocean trying to hold my son on my shoulders as I dealt with numerous school personnel in regards to my son's education.

I tried everything to get my son through school. If there was a medication for ADHD; he took it. If there was an IEP coordinator or counselor at his school; I knew them. He has been in detention, suspended, reprimanded, sent to therapy, but most of all, humiliated. I prayed for the teacher that would finally get through to him to teach him ANYTHING!!!

He will be 19 in March, with less than a 9th grade education trying to work and be an "adult". I feel like the school system that was supposed to teach and help with all the "assistance" from an LD program---as well as myself---have let him down. I think that if he had someone that cared enough about him, he would have likely finished high school.

But everyone that we ran across never seemed to know what to do with him.