A Teacher's Journal: Relationships Matter

A friend who works in a profession outside of education dropped me an email the other day somewhat exacerbated by the continuing "failure" of public schools to compete on the international stage. "What will it take," he asked, "For American schools to get something right?"

My first reaction was to go on the attack. After all, I think American schools are getting a lot of things right and that millions of educators are working diligently for the children in their care. Often working long hours with limited resources, we change lives. To imply otherwise is misguided at best.

But as I sat and thought about my reply, I realized that there is far too much "attack" in education already. We're never far from a heated debate, and controversy swirls around every corner. Consensus is rare and critics rarely take the time to build partnerships with one another. Casting stones has become the new order of reform---whoever shouts the loudest wins, it seems---and that limits our ability to effectively serve students.

Turns out I'm not alone in my frustration with the negative tone of educational debate. Noted expert Roland Barth has been writing about the importance of relationships between adults in education for over a decade. Perhaps my favorite Barth quote comes from his book Leading from the Heart:

The relationship among the adults in the schoolhouse has more impact on the quality and the character of the school--and on the accomplishment of youngsters--than any other factor... Among adult relationships in schools, that between teacher and principal is decisive. I have found no characteristic of a good school more pervasive than healthy teacher-principal relationships.

In much of his subsequent work--including this interview with the Journal for Staff Development--Barth goes on to argue that every relationship between adults interested in the success of children is vital to academic success. Interactions between well-intentioned adults must be open and based on a commitment to conversations:

"Conversations have the capacity to promote reflection, to create and exchange craft knowledge, and to help improve the organization. Schools, I'm afraid, deal more in meetings--in talking at and being talked at--than in conversation...

By conversations I mean a dialogue characterized by mutual respect, time to really talk and reflect, active and nonjudgmental listening, the development of shared meaning. But the work of people in schools doesn't lend itself to such conversations."

Barth goes on to argue that the single greatest skill necessary for school change is the ability to listen. He writes:

"One precondition for a good conversation, of course, is having something to say. But a big part of conversation is listening, and I don't think we have very sophisticated listening skills in schools. When someone talks, we are too often waiting for him or her to run out of gas so that we can jump in and get our airtime. It's important that we be respectful of what each individual has to say...

Conversation is much more equitable and satisfying when people talk and listen in roughly equal amounts and there is little posturing regarding who is the superordinate and who is the subordinate.

Thinking back over my own career in the classroom, I realized that Barth was right. Having strong opinions and a loud voice, I've tried to drown out competitors more than once when advocating in favor of a particular position or idea. I'm almost a pro at waiting patiently for others to "run out of gas" so I can get my "airtime." While I may have won more than my share of arguments, the victories were phyrric, often causing more damage than benefit.

But I also tend to take an extremely logical approach to life. Realizing that my influence was limited by my inability to develop positive working partnerships with "opponents," I've started to look for shared ground when facing a school-based conflict. While working towards resolution tends to take longer--and while my competitive desire to "win" still gets in the way every now and then--I've been a part of several exciting changes that started from dissent.

I think the work that I've done as a member of a professional learning team has taught me that differing viewpoints aren't something to be feared. Instead, the collective wisdom of the group of teachers that I meet with regularly is far more valuable than the individual ideas that any one of us brings to the decison making table. Conflict is inevitable, but through commitment to one another--and to our mission to ensure that every child succeeds--our conflicts are embraced as levers for positive change.

So I chose to take a different tone in my reply to my friend's criticism. "Schools in America will finally get something right," I said, "When all of its stakeholders realize that relationships matter more than ideas."

Posted by William Ferriter at 11:54 AM on May 13, 2007 | Leave Feedback

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