A Teacher's Journal 40: What I Learned from Anthony

I was ashamed that it took me so long to learn about Anthony's home life. I never took the time to ask why he wasn't doing his work, and took his failure to produce personally. His missing work often made me mad. I simply couldn't understand why a child wouldn't do ANY homework or projects despite my constant prodding. I even questioned his mother's interest and intent. After all, how could a parent fail to take action when her child had so much missing work?

Teachers have long taken this willful stance towards children like Anthony. We expect students and their parents to get things done regardless of life's challenges. We selfishly believe that there is nothing more important than our assignments. We preach perfection, saying things like, "There are no excuses for forgetting your homework," and, "Missing work is unacceptable in the real world!"

What we often forget is that the real world can be a challenging place for parents and students. Families are stretched. Parents work long hours to provide basic needs and children are often left to raise themselves. The "real world" is far from perfect, and succeeding in it is not easy for many.

Teachers must begin to truly listen to children, rather than making unfair assumptions. We must help children to find ways to succeed regardless of life circumstances. We must rethink the way that we grade our students, separating work behaviors from academics. We must recognize that every child (including those who seem the most uninterested) has a desire to do well and that no child wants to fail.

I learned a valuable lesson from Anthony. I learned to replace my willfulness with a willing, open approach to my classroom and my students -- to do otherwise would be to fail the students who need me the most.

*Student's name has been changed by the author.